Heather, it is with great joy and excitement that we celebrate this next chapter in your life that the Lord has in store for you! All of the hard work planning the wedding is about to come to fruition and then the real adventure begins, that of husband and wife. Genesis 2:24 says that “... a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.” You and Donovan are about to be joined together, united as one, which is as wonderful as it is challenging. An important part of becoming “one flesh” is our willingness to put our husband’s needs before our own. Our Lord commands us in Luke 9:23, “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.”, and this is never more important than in the marriage relationship! Although most of us know that we are to be following after the Lord and denying our selfish desires, once we are married, God gives us a daily reminder in the form of our husbands! God is glorified in our marriages when we lovingly submit to our husbands and also seek out what is in their best interest. Even though John and I have been married for fourteen years now, the Lord gently reminds me, more often than I care to admit, how often that I am selfish and seeking after my own best interests, instead of that of my husband, or even what is in the best interest for us as a couple. For example, just recently at the youth fundraiser here at church, I was having a wonderful evening, galavanting all around the fellowship hall chatting with friends, only to have my sweet husband quietly and gently mention on the way home that he had wanted to enjoy a coffee date with me! UGH! Praise God that His Word says in Lamentations 3:22-23, “Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” I am so thankful for a merciful God and also for a forgiving husband!
Another way that we can live out the command to become “one flesh” with our husband is in the area of finances. Statistics abound that one of the primary causes of marital conflict is in regards to the area of money management, or lack thereof. Proverbs 19:14 says, “Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the LORD.” Prudent, according to Webster’s dictionary, means: exercising sound judgment in practical matters, cautious in conduct, and managing carefully. In your role as “keeper of the home”, prudence, especially in the area of money management, will be such a blessing to Donovan. By creating a budget together and learning to live within it, you and Donovan will grow even closer together and the bond that you already have will grow yet stronger, just as Proverbs 31:11 says, “The heart of her husband trusts in her, And he will have no lack of gain.” I love how God’s Word is so practical and He knew that we would need His help in our marriages. John and I have been living on a budget for the past three years and I can personally testify that the Lord has blessed us tremendously as we seek to honor Him with our finances. Going “against the grain” of the world by giving to the Lord’s work, saving money and living within your means are not things that will make sense to many people; but that’s all the more reason for doing them!
In Genesis 2:18, “The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."” Doing things for our husband to help him out is a practical and tangible way to live in “one flesh” unity with him. How wonderful that you are the one that the Lord said is his suitable helper! So when tough times come, remember that God picked him for you, and you for him! I read about an idea recently that mentioned one way to assist you in your role as helper. It recommended that every day as your husband is leaving for work that you ask him if there is anything that you can do for him that day in order to help him out. Now, I admit that I don’t do do this every day. But, the days that I remember to write it down, AND actually complete it, John is blessed by it. I encourage you to give it a try! I also heartily recommend reading the book The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace. It is a wonderful and practical book filled with many ideas on how to be the best helper to your husband!
In closing, I want to wish you God’s blessings as you celebrate this exciting time in your life! Please know that there are many of us here who desire to “...encourage you to love your husband, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to your husband, so that no one will malign the word of God.” (Titus 2:4-5)
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